A good friend once called me fearless, and I’m sure I laughed right out loud, right there in his face. Because, little did he know..I was full of fear. Sure he saw me as this newly divorced single mom of two, who just quit her high paying job to start a blog…but I saw myself as a scared, fragile little bird on the brink of a mental breakdown.
The truth is, I’m not alone and I’m not unique. Every single entrepreneur goes through moments of “Holy eff what am I doing?”, “Is this going to work?” and “Will I be able to provide for my family”. I love reading interviews with entrepreneurs who admit to having fear..not because I like to see people suffer, but because it comforts me to know that fear is an everyday part of being an entrepreneur..and you either need to learn to deal with it, or let it succumb you.Fear makes the wolf bigger than it is - German Proverb Click To Tweet
And I’d be lying to say that I’ve mastered the art of fear and I walk around every day feeling confident in my decisions..because the truth is..as a mom & entrepreneur…those things continue to rattle me. I have moments where I’m all…“I got this” and I have moments where I’m curled up in a ball crying because I don’t know what my next step should be.
A few years back, I realized that something needed to change, because guess what..no one was coming to save me and I was going to have to work through my own shit on my own. Figure it out. No amount of margaritas was going to take the fear away. So then, I started this thing…that I call a fear journal.
Now before you laugh me off the face of the earth, hear me out. I realize how hokey it sounds. I know this because my husband rolls his eyes anytime I mention a fear journal, but the truth is..it works…it really does work.
Here’s what worked for me:
1. Write down what you are fearful of, what is stopping you, your mental block.
2. Write down what will happen if that fear comes true. You’ll want to expand upon your fear here and describe exactly what you think will happen if your fear comes true.
3. Write down what you will do if that fear comes true. This one’s a big one. After I write down what I will do if my biggest fear happens..a little of the anxiety goes away..because now I’ve got a plan. So this step is crucial. After you’ve done this step…walk away from the fear journal until one of two things happen..your fear comes true..or it doesn’t.
4. Put a yes or no checkbox on your sheet and if that fear comes true..put a checkmark in it.
You will realize my friend, just as I realized, that almost 100% of your fears never fucking happen. They just don’t. BUT, don’t take my word for it. Do this fear journal for a week and come back to me and let me know what percentage of what you were fearing actually happened?
It’s freeing once you realize that fear is holding you back. It’s robbing you for sleep, your focus, your time. Fuck fear. Punch it in the face. And go on and be the person you were destined to be. Mic drop 😉