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Is there a Mom Uniform? Why didn’t I get the memo?

The following post is a guest post by Jasmine Hewitt

One thing I’ve noticed since becoming a mother is how quickly people are to judge you on your appearance.

Not your style of parenting, or even lack thereof, but more so on your appearance.

I can remember being about eight years old, and listening to a conversation between my mother & grandmother. My grandmother was “talking sh*t” (for lack of a better term) about another, fellow grandmother, for wearing what she called, “inappropriate clothes”.

“I know she’s at least my age, and if I wear shorts, they only go up to my knees-I never wear anything that short”

Granted, this was also about twenty years ago. Style has changed a lot since then, as well as, statistically, the age of the average grandmother. Now days you can literally be any age and not only be a grandma, but even a hot grandma!

But for her, in small town South Georgia, after the age of 60, you didn’t wear certain things after a certain time. It wasn’t befitting. Grandma didn’t wear that.

I remember during the course of my pregnancy hearing things that apparently, unknown to me, mothers weren’t allowed to wear; crop tops, bikinis, short shorts, low cut tops, anything clingy or flirty…

tattoo-woman

Let me pose a question: WHO MAKES THESE RULES?

I envision a group of stepford wives, dressed in matching cardigans with poufy updos, pursed lips and clipboards, around a coffee table somewhere in suburbia, checking off a list of clothing articles they find offensive for anyone to wear once birthing a child.

“A halter top & low rise jeans to the park? Hmm… that’s a no from me.”

First off, if you are awesome enough to have created life, you can do whatever you want. Period. And you can wear whatever you want. Women find empowerment in lots of different ways. And if you are like me, you enjoy fashion. You enjoy wearing the things you like!

There is no set uniform for a mom! Click To Tweet

Secondly, your parenting is not defined by your attire. It’s how you handle a boo-boo or a runny nose. It’s how you guide and teach your child. It’s how you protect them & raise them. It has nothing to do with the fact you wear pumps to a PTA meeting.

Some women are empowered by modesty-and if you have reached a point in life where you are more comfortable in a set of pearls and a cable knit long dress, then go for it!

If you don’t want to give up your jean shorts and tank tops (because you’re taking the kids to the park and its 100º), then don’t! I want you to be comfortable, and will be joining you in wearing clothes that complement the weather, not aid it in killing me.

The kind of outfit you wear should have zero definition on how you are perceived as a parent. And you shouldn’t feel ashamed for dressing the way you like. I applaud the mom with stretch marks wearing the bikini she likes, just as much as I cheer on the mom with the flow-y cover all that is to die for, but covers everything up.

If you are the kind of parent that prefers pajama pants & a messy bun to the grocery store, I’m not going to think of you as lazy, or a slob. I’m going to ask you where you bought them; because they look comfy and inviting.

Use whatever makes you feel confident to empower yourself. You are no less a mother, a woman, or a person. Your appearance is your business, no one else’s.


IMG_20160328_225556Jasmine is a young newly wed wife and first time mom to an amazing little boy. She’s a cloth diapering, breastfeeding, ear gauged potty mouth wine enthusiast, who enjoys HBO series and baby snuggles. She can be found at Love, Life, Laugh & Motherhood.


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JUDGEMOMS

Chrystie is a mom of 3 kids and wife to one. She's sold 4 blogs in the last 10 years and now helps other women start their blogging empire. Her love for really bad reality TV is only trumped by her love for margaritas without salt. Her other addictions include spray painting everything gold and embarrassing her kids at the bus stop. #thatmom

This article has 29 comments

  1. Lottie L'Amour

    The fact that society thinks there are fashion rules for different scenarios is just bull. I’m a plus size girl, and apparently I can’t wear stripes, crop tops, bold colours…. the list goes on! I wear whatever makes me happy, and if on that day it’s a crop top, then I am definitely going to go out wearing a crop top!

    Lottie xx
    http://lottielamour.co.uk

  2. Karin Rambo

    Well I guess I’m screwed then. Especially in the bikini department… ha! Although I did just pick up some vintage mom jean shorts so there’s that. :)

  3. Candy

    You mean you don’t wear a dress apron and heels. Lol

  4. Candace

    The first 3 months my uniform has been pajamas. And the occasional workout outfit. Nothing fits and I refuse to buy new clothing and Im constantly nursing, so clothes, which I used to live for, are so past secondary. But when I get back to fighting shape, Im not going to lie, Im dying for a crop top or cut offs. There’s no mom uniform. Your body is incredible… dress it however the heck you want.

  5. Lindsay at Lindsay's Sweet World

    Amen!! I break the “mom uniform” rules all the time! Halter tops, tube tops, short shorts, four inch stilettos, bikinis (gasp!) Whatever I feel comfy in or love, I’m gonna wear it! You won’t find any mom jeans over here!

    • Jasmine Hewitt

      I can’t do mom jeans! I just can’t. But My closet is very eclectic with crop tops, shorts, bikinis…and a few cable knit sweaters

  6. Cara

    Yes! I love this! Once we finally wake up and realize that we can make our own rules and even break our own rules, life is so much better. Who cares what another person out there dubs as appropriate or inappropriate. Live your life the way you want to and pay no mind to people’s judgy comments.

  7. Elna @ TwinsMommy

    Preach it Jasmine!

    For me, though, since I have 3 year old twins, I’m lucky to get out of the house with deodorant! But, I’m ok with that. It’s just a phase – until they go to school! – and if I have coffee stains on my shirt, boogers wiped me about a 100 times a day and the perpetual spaghetti stain on anything I wear, so be it.

    I’m a mom and I don’t give a f*ck :-)

    • Jasmine Hewitt

      I just have the one kid and I’m lucky to wear deodorant 😉

      I love your attitude! It really does come down to just saying “f*ck it” and being comfortable with yourself

  8. tineke - workingmommyabroad

    Great post, you´re so right!! I love the cardigan suburb club of moms who made the rules haha. Screw the rules and wear whatever you like!

  9. Morgan @ Morgan Manages Mommyhood

    I’m sitting here thinking, the only mom uniform I know of is yoga pants, a tee, and a messy bun. Moms were things OTHER than that? ahhahaha

  10. Jasmine Hewitt

    Thank you for the opportunity to be a guest poster!

  11. Jasmin Saunders

    oh my … so very true. But I have to admit though … my style changed a bit since I had my daughter – not so much because of what people say but more because some outfits are just not practical. Low cut shirts are cute but with a toddler tugging on them … well, let’s say quite exposing at times. Same goes for short skirts and flowy dresses. But in the end everyone should just wear what they feel good and confident in. Let the haters hate :)

  12. suzanne

    Amen, mama! I’m with you. I look awful in cardigans. Give my the shorts and tank tops all day long, every day. (Well, for like 4 months out of the year. Because Chicago.)

    http://mykindofsweet.com/

    • Jasmine Hewitt

      I can wear cardigans-but its harder in Georgia with the year round summer (except for those three days in January). If I couldn’t wear halters and flip flops I would literally die

  13. Jess @ Room Service Required

    Gotta admit I do love cardigans :) I’m always cold! But I’ll also rock a bikini if I feel like it. Love this post!

  14. Viviana @ Mums Orchard House

    Couldn’t even help but share this one. I’ve got the oddest style cause I don’t have one! I go from torn up jeans & bearing all the tats to business woman the next…. Haha and I love it!

  15. Miriah

    I love this post! I can relate to a lot of this. I was made to feel so bad about how I dressed that I changed my style. In the long run I ended up loving my new style much more but the “sh*t talking really got me. Thank you!

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