The following post is a guest post by Jasmine Hewitt
One thing I’ve noticed since becoming a mother is how quickly people are to judge you on your appearance.
Not your style of parenting, or even lack thereof, but more so on your appearance.
I can remember being about eight years old, and listening to a conversation between my mother & grandmother. My grandmother was “talking sh*t” (for lack of a better term) about another, fellow grandmother, for wearing what she called, “inappropriate clothes”.
“I know she’s at least my age, and if I wear shorts, they only go up to my knees-I never wear anything that short”
Granted, this was also about twenty years ago. Style has changed a lot since then, as well as, statistically, the age of the average grandmother. Now days you can literally be any age and not only be a grandma, but even a hot grandma!
But for her, in small town South Georgia, after the age of 60, you didn’t wear certain things after a certain time. It wasn’t befitting. Grandma didn’t wear that.
I remember during the course of my pregnancy hearing things that apparently, unknown to me, mothers weren’t allowed to wear; crop tops, bikinis, short shorts, low cut tops, anything clingy or flirty…
Let me pose a question: WHO MAKES THESE RULES?
I envision a group of stepford wives, dressed in matching cardigans with poufy updos, pursed lips and clipboards, around a coffee table somewhere in suburbia, checking off a list of clothing articles they find offensive for anyone to wear once birthing a child.
“A halter top & low rise jeans to the park? Hmm… that’s a no from me.”
First off, if you are awesome enough to have created life, you can do whatever you want. Period. And you can wear whatever you want. Women find empowerment in lots of different ways. And if you are like me, you enjoy fashion. You enjoy wearing the things you like!
Secondly, your parenting is not defined by your attire. It’s how you handle a boo-boo or a runny nose. It’s how you guide and teach your child. It’s how you protect them & raise them. It has nothing to do with the fact you wear pumps to a PTA meeting.
Some women are empowered by modesty-and if you have reached a point in life where you are more comfortable in a set of pearls and a cable knit long dress, then go for it!
If you don’t want to give up your jean shorts and tank tops (because you’re taking the kids to the park and its 100º), then don’t! I want you to be comfortable, and will be joining you in wearing clothes that complement the weather, not aid it in killing me.
The kind of outfit you wear should have zero definition on how you are perceived as a parent. And you shouldn’t feel ashamed for dressing the way you like. I applaud the mom with stretch marks wearing the bikini she likes, just as much as I cheer on the mom with the flow-y cover all that is to die for, but covers everything up.
If you are the kind of parent that prefers pajama pants & a messy bun to the grocery store, I’m not going to think of you as lazy, or a slob. I’m going to ask you where you bought them; because they look comfy and inviting.
Use whatever makes you feel confident to empower yourself. You are no less a mother, a woman, or a person. Your appearance is your business, no one else’s.
Jasmine is a young newly wed wife and first time mom to an amazing little boy. She’s a cloth diapering, breastfeeding, ear gauged potty mouth wine enthusiast, who enjoys HBO series and baby snuggles. She can be found at Love, Life, Laugh & Motherhood.