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3 Reasons Stay At Home Moms Need Adult Interaction

breanna The following post was written by Breanna of Maintainingme.com. Breanna Richey is a wife and mom of 2 under 2. She enjoys organizing and blogging about being a mom and pastor’s wife at Maintaining Me. Follow Breanna on Instagram.

 

The other night at dinner I was talking to my husband about my day with the kids. It was pretty boring stuff — how long naps were, the baby starting to roll over, the big diaper blowout I had to clean up, etc. At the end of the dinner he looks at me and says, “honey I think you need to get out more”. At first I was a little taken back. Then I realized that was the first thing my husband said since we sat down! I had taken over our entire conversation!

Since we have had children, it has been my dream to be a stay at home mom. After a good look at our finances we were able to make it possible for me to quit my full time job and be home with my babies! I’m still pretty new to the whole stay at home mom business but I’ve already learned so much in my year of being home. I was prepared for the financial sacrifice we needed to make, but I didn’t realize the adjustments in my everyday life, both mentally and emotionally! One of those being the lack of social interaction with other adults. Since that dinner I’ve been thinking about the importance of adult interaction and why stay at home moms need it most.

Prevent Depression

Postpartum depression is very real and it can be scary. I didn’t experience any depression after my first but I also returned back to work and had a ton of adult interaction every day. After having two babies and becoming a stay at home mom, I was just not a happy person! Here I was during what is supposed to be the best time of my life and I wasn’t enjoying it. I finally decided something had to change when my husband asked me if I hated my life. Between scheduling more play dates and trying to leave the house more often I have seen a huge change in my attitude and my mood!

Finding Encouragement

Being a stay at home mom is just plain ole’ hard! Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love my job and wouldn’t change it for the world but it’s a thankless job and can get very lonely. Even after having two children, I still question whether what I am doing is right. Am I creating bad habits if I rock my baby to sleep? Am I causing psychological issues if I let my baby cry-it-out? Having a friend to bounce ideas off of is so important. All mamas need someone to reassure them that they’re not crazy – or admit that they are crazy but love them anyways. My spouse is amazing, but there are always going to be things he doesn’t understand as well as a fellow mama.

Strengthen Relationship with Spouse

Vomiting words at my husband for the rest of our life is not going to lead to a very fulfilling relationship for either of us. Sometimes I sacrifice my needs for my husband’s and he does the same for me. However, when our needs are so far apart, someone is bound to get left out. My husband is talking most of his work day so when he gets home he doesn’t want to have an hour long conversation with his communication starved wife. When I have some adult interaction with other mamas during the day our needs are a little closer aligned and I can focus on what he needs to feel refreshed.

adultinteraction

Chrystie is a mom of 3 kids and wife to one. She's sold 4 blogs in the last 10 years and now helps other women start their blogging empire. Her love for really bad reality TV is only trumped by her love for margaritas without salt. Her other addictions include spray painting everything gold and embarrassing her kids at the bus stop. #thatmom

This article has 59 comments

  1. Sarah

    Yes! We forget that if we are empty, we have nothing to give to our families. It is very important for us to carve out some “adult talk.” My husband and I started noticing we never talked anymore. When we did, it was about the kids. We started setting a time each day for 30 minutes where we go get coffee and go someone in the house without our kids. We sat them down and told them we needed “mom and dad” time and that unless it was an emergency, they are not to disturb us for the entire 30 minutes. It has helped us stay connected in the chaos of life but also it shows the kids the importance of nurturing your relationship with your spouse!

    • Maintaining Me

      That is such a good idea to set aside time! As mamas we are so busy that unless we set time aside I think it’s easy to forget about it.

  2. Abbie

    Love this Breanna!! Beautiful post and such a good reminder. Off to check out your blog.

  3. Abigail

    This is great! I’m not yet a mom but when i worked from home I would always forget to interact with people and I’d be like “oh man I haven’t talked to a friend in like 6 days” It’s easy to get caught up in the life in our homes that we sometimes forget to stimulate our life outside. Thanks for sharing! Also, I’m a new reader and I love love love the name of your blog :)

  4. Alyssia Brown

    Such a great reminder! I struggled with so long whether or not I was cut out for the stay at home mom life because I was genuinely unhappy in the beginning. It wasn’t until I started meeting other moms around my area that I felt my entire mindset change and my mood brighten up. Going to check out your blog now !

  5. Angelle Marix

    This was a great read!!! Being a sahm, I can totally relate. It’s so important for us as women to have those close knit friendships and outings regularly. It has been a lifeline for me along with my relationship with Jesus. Thanks for sharing.

    Xoxo,
    Angelle
    http://www.dashingdarlin.com

  6. linda spiker

    Amen sister! I had six, if I didn’t interact regularly with adults I would have lost my mind!

  7. Christine

    I so agree with this and relate to you. I have found having the adult interaction is so important. What a difference it makes in us. I really enjoyed reading this.

  8. Crystal

    MOPS is a God send to me. I have missed two months in a row and I NEED it! I think a lot of blogger moms don’t get enough face to face interaction and settle for on-line interaction.

    • Chrystie

      I know I’ve heard of MOPS before…but remind me what it is again? :)

  9. Tiffany

    All mamas need social interaction. Life changes so abruptly when we have children. Our whole identity changes, now were a MOM! No matter how hard you try, there is something different about you than your single or non-child having friends (couldn’t think of a better word, haha). Us mamas got to stick together. Great insight on a tough topic! Xo

    • Chrystie

      Totally agree. It’s not only our bodies that change after babies..but our entire emotional well being is changed!

  10. Kelly

    Been home for a year now after 17 years in corporate land. It’s definitely an adjustment!

    • Chrystie

      17 years is a long time in corporate land :) I think once you get the hang of the SAHM thing you’ll really come to enjoy it! :)

  11. candy

    Date night is important. I use to feel I didn’t have anything useful to say when it was all about changing diapers, figuring out whats for dinner, laundry, cleaning etc. My husband was so appreciative of the fact a stranger wasn’t doing all those thins for our children.

  12. Lindsay

    Oh gosh, I can’t imagine what I would do without my adult interaction at work every day. I think I would go crazy. I’m such a talker, and I already talk my husband’s ear off every evening after work, so I can’t imagine what I would be like if I didn’t have people to talk to all day! Lol.

  13. Logan

    I love this! It has been so helpful for me ( and my little guy) to go on weekly playdates because I normally need to talk to another adult by the time they roll around and love connecting with other moms because they get it!

  14. Emily

    This is a breath of fresh air. I can really relate to what you shared and I desperately need adult interaction. Some days I feel like I’m losing my mind, some days I feel so low and other days I’m just so exhausted.

  15. Kristen Lehman

    finally, when my 3rd baby was born I joined a local Mops group. It seriously changed my life. It gave me an outlet for interaction and leadership opportunities even though I had little people with me all the time. It has been AMAZING. Thanks for the reminder. We all need to remember that we cannot do this alone!

  16. Jenny Hutzler

    So honest & true! Thanks for sharing!???

  17. Erin

    Thanks for this, Breanna! It’s so true how important it is to get out and interact with other moms…as well as how hard it can be to do! I wanted to be a mom my whole life, and I had this dream of writing/working from home once my husband and I started having kids. But I quickly learned how all-consuming these little ones can be, and how even a super-introverted person like myself will start to wither without intentionally building relationships with other women.

    Thank you so much for the reminder!

  18. Ashley

    All of this hits the nail on the head! It is hard being a stay at home mom for so many reasons, none of which people who do not stay at home realize. Great job!

  19. Frugal Mom of 8

    Yes yes and yes! People might think play dates are for the kids but my time with my friends saved my sanity when my kids were little!

  20. Corina

    This was so refreshing and encouraging to read! I only have a toddler at the moment but have a second one on the way and the morning sickness has kept me very couped up! Forcing myself to get out not only blesses me, it blesses my husband because I’m not so needy when he gets home! 😛

  21. Lilies + Lambs

    Love this- and all are so true! Looking forward to following your blog!

  22. Danielle

    Ummm… I could have written the same post! When I had my first girl I didn’t get out much, and developed some PPD. It wasn’t until I joined a local Moms Club that I really started enjoying myself.

  23. The Home Loving Wife

    Ummmm, 1 – yes. 2 – yes. 3 – TRIPLE YES!!!! This is so, so, so important and I love how simply you put it! I was just talking to someone the other day about how isolating being a SAHM can be, and their response was, “But you’ve got 4 little ladies to keep you company!” Ha – I shared a bit from my heart about how I was not lacking for company at all, but I was lacking mature, conversational engagement coming from a place of understanding and empathy. As wonderful as kids can be and as incredible as the conversations you can have with them are, there is still no replacement for adult interaction for the SAHM. Period!

  24. Ali @ Ali's Book Nook

    Your three points are spot on! Having a small support group of moms who know what it’s like is so important. Thanks for the reminder.

  25. Clare Speer

    Yes, yes – the struggle can be real….. I think getting out and interaction and doing some fun stuff is important! Getting with your girlfriends for a quick lunch or a cup of coffee will be so refreshing! Get some laughs, talk, talk, talk!

  26. Alison

    I totally agree with everything you’ve said. Especially the preventing depression part. I too was much better with my first because I was getting more adult interaction, after my second I found it all so much harder to arrange and I was so much less happy as a result. Playdates are the way forward!

  27. vivianna

    I don’t stay home with my tot every day so, kudos to the moms who do – it takes a very special & patient person! I can’t imagine this is very true – and what a laid back writer. <3

  28. Gary

    Bre, I’ve been reading your blogs. I’m so proud of you. You’re such a good writer. You know, good Christian character is one of the requirements for a Canefire “Athletic Director’s Award” winner. You’ve got it. If only we were a little closer (geographically), Danette and I would help you out with that adult interaction. You have an awesome family, keep up the good work.

    Mzr. O

  29. Denise Drake

    BRE!!!! I am so PROUD of you! This is a great article! So excited to read all the responses from your readers. Congratulations on a new ministry! love you!

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