The following post was written by Breanna of Maintainingme.com. Breanna Richey is a wife and mom of 2 under 2. She enjoys organizing and blogging about being a mom and pastor’s wife at Maintaining Me. Follow Breanna on Instagram.
The other night at dinner I was talking to my husband about my day with the kids. It was pretty boring stuff — how long naps were, the baby starting to roll over, the big diaper blowout I had to clean up, etc. At the end of the dinner he looks at me and says, “honey I think you need to get out more”. At first I was a little taken back. Then I realized that was the first thing my husband said since we sat down! I had taken over our entire conversation!
Since we have had children, it has been my dream to be a stay at home mom. After a good look at our finances we were able to make it possible for me to quit my full time job and be home with my babies! I’m still pretty new to the whole stay at home mom business but I’ve already learned so much in my year of being home. I was prepared for the financial sacrifice we needed to make, but I didn’t realize the adjustments in my everyday life, both mentally and emotionally! One of those being the lack of social interaction with other adults. Since that dinner I’ve been thinking about the importance of adult interaction and why stay at home moms need it most.
Postpartum depression is very real and it can be scary. I didn’t experience any depression after my first but I also returned back to work and had a ton of adult interaction every day. After having two babies and becoming a stay at home mom, I was just not a happy person! Here I was during what is supposed to be the best time of my life and I wasn’t enjoying it. I finally decided something had to change when my husband asked me if I hated my life. Between scheduling more play dates and trying to leave the house more often I have seen a huge change in my attitude and my mood!
Being a stay at home mom is just plain ole’ hard! Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love my job and wouldn’t change it for the world but it’s a thankless job and can get very lonely. Even after having two children, I still question whether what I am doing is right. Am I creating bad habits if I rock my baby to sleep? Am I causing psychological issues if I let my baby cry-it-out? Having a friend to bounce ideas off of is so important. All mamas need someone to reassure them that they’re not crazy – or admit that they are crazy but love them anyways. My spouse is amazing, but there are always going to be things he doesn’t understand as well as a fellow mama.
Strengthen Relationship with Spouse
Vomiting words at my husband for the rest of our life is not going to lead to a very fulfilling relationship for either of us. Sometimes I sacrifice my needs for my husband’s and he does the same for me. However, when our needs are so far apart, someone is bound to get left out. My husband is talking most of his work day so when he gets home he doesn’t want to have an hour long conversation with his communication starved wife. When I have some adult interaction with other mamas during the day our needs are a little closer aligned and I can focus on what he needs to feel refreshed.